A week ago, I stared fear and uncertainty in the eyes and I quit my job. Why? Because it was the right thing to do. Yes, I loved what I did and what I had learned, but the business treated its employees terribly, and I especially was mistreated. The last few days were extremely stressful because there was so much going on at once and I knew my end, one way or another, was coming. Time went by very slowly and I made use of the time I had by going over every possible scenario and choosing my best route out.
While the week played out, I felt like I was going through my divorce all over again; it was an awful feeling. You know being out of that unhealthy relationship is the best thing for you, but doubt settles in your stomach and all these 'what if's' pop in your head causing you anxiety and feeling sick with worry, and I was. On the flip side, I was also furious. As all these emotions are negative, and yelling or crying is only going to make any situation worse, I did the only other thing I felt I could do; pray. A few words in, I had hot tears streaming down my face. I cried because I needed to release the stress and anger my pride was stubborn to hold onto, and most importantly, I immediately felt the peace that I was praying for. From that point on, I was level headed, and I moved forward with faith and courage with what I was about to do.
Keys in hand and head held high, I walked in feeling certain about my decision, even with apprehension creeping in, slightly. I approached my manager and forfeited my keys, hoping the action would speak for itself. When it didn't, I explained how I've heard and seen how others have been treated and explained that I also knew how I was being treated; as well. I said how I can't work for or support a company who treats people that way. The environment was hostile and toxic, and I deserve better. I was finally standing up for myself. My only regret: saying "I'm sorry", because I'm not. Saying sorry indicates taking blame, and how I was treated was not my fault and I'm not going to apologize for standing up for myself.
When I left, it brought me back to the day I left my ex. Closing the door for the last time lifted a huge burden I had carried for a long time, and didn't realize it until that moment. I was uncertain what the future held, but with faith, I believed everything would be OK, and it has. I've had wonderful opportunities I would have never had, met amazing people, made great friends, had the best relationship with a man I could have asked for - even if it wasn't meant to be, we still maintain a great friendship.
I can say I have been incredibly happier single than I ever was married, and I'm positive I will find a much better job than what I had before. We always have a choice, and we can either confine or liberate ourselves. If freeing yourself is what makes you happy, even if life might be a little harder, I can promise, it is worth it.
